10 Laws of Boundaries

With gratitude to Doctors Henry Cloud and John Townsend, we reiterate the importance of boundaries. These 10 laws are studied in our Boundaries group, and they are referred to in many of our individual sessions with women. We believe every woman should review the Boundaries books and/or attend a Boundaries group as a refresher every few years.fence

Why? Because women have such a hard time saying, “No.” Because we sometimes forget what life has taught us. Because the consequences of living a no-boundaries life can be dire.

So…read, think about and put into practice these 10 Laws:

The Law of Sowing and Reaping – Actions lead to Consequences. Always.

The Law of Responsibility – We are responsible TO each other, but not FOR the choices of others. We are NOT responsible for how anyone else thinks.

The Law of Power – We have power over some things, but not over everything. We cannot change people. They have to make choices for themselves.

The Law of Respect – If we want people to respect our boundaries, then we need to respect theirs. This refers back to the first law of sowing and reaping. Respect others if you want respect in return.

The Law of Motivation – We are free to say, “No.” We do not HAVE to say, “Yes.”

The Law of Evaluation – Remember to evaluate the pain our boundaries may cause others. But we don’t need to say, “Yes” from a place of false guilt.

The Law of Proactivity – We act to solve problems based on our values, wants and needs. Be proactive about seeking change in your life.

The Law of Envy – If we focus outside our boundaries onto what others have, we will not receive what we really want. Envy puts us in a state of discontent and steals our peace.

The Law of Activity – Take the initiative in setting limits. Avoid passivity, especially when setting personal boundaries.

The Law of Exposure – Communicate personal boundaries to each other so that everyone knows what to expect and where to draw the line.

What has been the most important boundary in your life?

©2014 GateWay of Hope – The Helping Place for Hurting Women