Sometimes we feel shame because we have not honestly faced our own sins but other times, we feel shame that is undeserved.
Some of us have grown up in shame-based families or we have married into a shame-based relationship. Sometimes we’re not even aware of how shame has affected us.
In her book, “The Gifts of Imperfection,” Brené Brown explains three ways we often deal with shame:
• Move Away – we withdraw, hide, keep secrets or silence ourselves. We move away from shame without ever confronting it.
• Move Toward – we seek to appease and please those who shame us. We move even closer to shame.
• Move Against – we try to gain power over others with aggressiveness. We fight shame with more shame.
So what is the best way to deal with shame?
Honestly confront it. Admit our own mistakes but never embrace the failures of others who try to blame us for their mistakes.
Be willing to authentically admit when we have been hurt by a shaming remark or action. Never trade our authenticity for approval.
What about you? How do you deal with shame?
2013 GateWay of Hope Ministries – The Helping Place for Hurting Women