When we think of domestic violence, many of us wonder why women stay and don’t just leave. That’s one of the questions I asked the group of abuse survivors I met with.
What motivated you to leave?
- I got tired of walking on egg shells.
- My children
- Friends and family who were Christians came to me and gave me permission to leave.
- I was afraid of killing or hurting my husband.
- I was afraid of getting pregnant again.
- I was lying about being abused and I didn’t want to lie.
What were the obstacles in you leaving?
- I was controlled and isolated by the abuser.
- I couldn’t make it financially. I didn’t have a job or anyway of making money.
- I was afraid of him taking or hurting the kids.
- I was hoping he would change.
- I was told divorce is wrong and a sin and that I’d get “crowns in heaven” for staying.
- I was told I should stay in the marriage, “no matter what.”
Put yourself in the place of the women who gave the above answers. What would you do if you had their experiences?