When no one was around, I grabbed the box of sugary sweet Yummy-Os, ran to the bathroom, and locked the door. Finally, I could enjoy my snack without anyone knowing.
A few minutes later, I heard a knock. My father’s voice spoke from the other side of the door, “Open up.” Pretending not to hear him, I continued nibbling on my chocolate cereal.
I was five years old.
As a teen, I discovered where Mom kept chocolate frosting in the cupboard. I waited until no one was home, then plopped spoonfuls of frosting into my mouth. It was my delicious secret.
Married now with children, I wait until everyone is in bed before heading downstairs to the pantry and fridge. My snack usually consists of two bowls of cereal and a cup of chocolate frosting. I wash my dishes, head back upstairs and brush my teeth. My tummy aches as I toss and turn in bed.
Yes, I have a problem. I am a closeted snacker and addicted to sugar, and I don’t want anyone to know.
Can you relate to my story?
I became addicted to sugar as a child, because it made me feel happy. It also gave me energy, and I needed lots of energy to keep up with my sisters. If I felt sad or tired, sugary snacks seemed to emotionally help me.
But the ache in my stomach caused me to feel ashamed and guilty. To pick myself up again, I reached for something with sugar in it. A vicious cycle.
As an adult, I am realizing only God gives what sugar can’t – peace. Sugar may pick me up, but then it sends me crashing back down. By reading the Bible and praying, I find an inner calm and peace that sweets never bring.
I want to reach out to God, not the fridge or pantry, for what my soul truly craves: a life full of peace.
This summer, I have a chance to quit hiding my problem. I am reading a book titled “Made to Crave.” Author Lysa TerKeurst wrote this book to help women like me accept their food addictions and discover how to be healed.
I hope this study helps me replace the emotional emptiness and the rationalizations that lead to failure. I am ready to discover how my cravings can be filled with God alone.
2014 Written by a GateWay Volunteer – GateWay of Hope – The Helping Place for Hurting Women