The following list is a sample of practical things we can do to forgive those who hurt us. Not every method works for everyone. Pick the one you think will help you the most and give it a try.
• Confront each hurtful memory. Journal about your feelings. Express anger in a healthy way. Ask God to help you forgive that particular memory.
• Be specific about the act you need to forgive and the person you need to forgive. Write it in your journal, “I choose to forgive __________ about ______________.”
• When painful memories surface, visually hand them over to God. Then focus on something positive, an inspiration piece or the person you are going to become as you heal.
• Focus on making the most of yourself; not spending time and energy blaming someone else.
• Write about a painful memory, then burn the pages and bury the ashes. Have a funeral for your past.
• Don’t respond to people who are pot-stirrers (those who want all the dirty details so that they can gossip or show you false sympathy).
• Don’t respond to spiritual abuse (those who bash you with the Bible and tell you when and how you must forgive).
• Step out of the story where you are stuck. Move into your new story. Write or draw a picture of your new self.
• Put a pretty stone or jewel where you will see it every day. Whenever you see it, ask God to help you forgive the person who hurt you.
• Ask a prayer warrior to pray with you about forgiveness (someone who will keep confidentiality and not enable you to continue in bitterness).
Our next post will include roadblocks to forgiveness. Come on back and see what you think. We’d like to have your comments, too.